Insomnia

Tic-Toc, Tic-Toc, Tick-Toc

Have you ever had one of those nights, where you just lie in bed and stare at the ceiling and then toss and turn and toss and turn, trying to fall asleep? You lie there trying to talk yourself into relaxing and falling asleep, but to no avail. In fact, it seems the harder you try, the more awake you are! Your mind just won't shut itself off and rest and a thousand things keep parading across the big-screen TV of your mind!

The Dictionary defines "insomnia" as:

inability to obtain sufficient sleep, esp. when chronic;

difficulty in falling or staying asleep; sleeplessness

Well, last night was one of those nights for me!

I guess I'm becoming "Nocturnal" as my Granddaughter described her sister's habits of staying up all night on the computer!

Since I stopped working full-time, I've begun to once again enjoy the late night hours, as these have always been the best times for creativity and deep-thinking for me. However, this habit of going to bed late started out to be a bedtime of about 12:30 a.m. and now has slowly crept to the wee morning hours of 2:30 or 3:00 a.m.!

The Spanish language has a beautiful sounding word for this time of the night: La Madrugada.

Doesn't that sound beautiful? It simply means "the wee hours of the morning before dawn". I've always loved this time, when everyone else is asleep and the house is quiet and outside, the streets are deserted and quiet and all you can hear are the sounds of "night". Sometimes, I go and stand on my balcony and look up at the stars and just "listen". This is all fine and good if you're still getting some sleep!

Last night, as I lay awake in bed trying to get myself to fall asleep, my mind kept going over and over a thousand different things. Everything under the sun! At one point, I even had to get up and go and jot down my thoughts for a poem so that I wouldn't forget it by morning! I've also found that in the past this has been the best time for poetry to come to me and I definitely better get up and write it down or it'll be gone by morning; lost in the labyrinth of my dreams and sleep.

After I got out of bed to jot down my thoughts, I stealthily eased myself back under the covers so as not to disturb my peacefully sleeping husband (how I envy the way he can sleep!). Once again, I began to work at trying to get to sleep! Just as I was drifting off to "Lah-Lah Land" (it's now about 4:25 a.m.), our dog comes up the stairs and starts nudging the bed and whimpering because I was pretending to be asleep and ignoring him, hoping he'd give up and go back downstairs to his bed! No such luck! Instead, he shakes his head and rattles his Rabies tags on his collar, which makes an ungodly loud sound that would wake the dead! (Does my husband wake up at this point, as I was sure he would? NO!) So, I get up and take the dog back downstairs and let him out, which is what he wanted for some reason! (I guess he drank too much before bed too!) I waited until he came back to the door (about 3 minutes later!) and then tell him to "STAY!" and went back upstairs. (He looked at me like he was crushed that I didn't want to play at this point, since we were both up!) It's now about 4:30 a.m. Once again, I try to ease myself back under the covers and make another attempt at sleep. It finally worked this time and I think I must have drifted off about 4:45 a.m.

I think there may be a few reasons for this bout with "insomnia" last night.

* I drank way too much coffee while watching the Olympics until it was over!

* I had a chocolate ice-cream sandwich (my weakness along with Fudgesicles!), which gave me acid-reflux all night!

* My mind was over-stimulated watching the Olympics and feeling for the U.S. Girl's Gymnastics Team.

(Didn't your heart just go out to those girls?)

* I lay there thinking about the next jewelry design I would make and bounced out of bed to go lay out the beads so that I wouldn't forget what colors and beads I wanted to use!

* I started thinking about my family, as I do many times at night while lying in bed, and then prayed for all of them, as I usually do when this happens.

There were many things that went through my mind but the overwhelming thought was "I've GOT to get some SLEEP!!" which acts as a stimulant instead of a sleep-inducer, since when that thought begins, my mind sets to work on that project instead of relaxing!

I finally did drift off to a beautiful, sweet sleep though and then awakened this morning when my daughter called to ask something, which I've already forgotten because I was still groggy when I talked with her.

What bothers me the most about this inability to get to sleep before "la madrugada" though is that I always feel so badly when I sleep late and feel as if I've wasted the best part of the day! I'd really like to be an early morning person! I guess I can't have both though.

I think these habits first began when I was still in High School and would have to stay up so late working on projects and homework because I had spent the best part of the evening talking on the phone to my boyfriend (to whom I am now married) and my girlfriends! On weekends, I'd also stay up very late spending the night with my Grandmother that lived next door to us and we'd watch "wrestling" matches and "Gorgeous George", her favorite! She was an AVID wrestling fan! lol It seems to strange to me now, considering what has become of wrestling since the 1950's!

When I got married, my husband worked the midnight shifts so much that I would stay awake because I couldn't sleep with him away all night and I'd sew clothes for our girls.

I guess I don't have much hope of changing my habits after all these years and becoming a "morning person", even though I'd like to.

One thing is sure though: I'd really like to get to sleep before 4:00 a.m.!!

No more coffee for me late at night!